nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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