the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
