chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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