awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
