next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
