I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just made out with a guy for $7.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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