idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
