buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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