it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
