Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
