is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
