my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
