I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
