I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I pour the whiskey from now on
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
