Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
