So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
