Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
