If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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