one might say we're banned from that church
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
