yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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