I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
