therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
