Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
