Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
