I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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