somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
