oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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