it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
