Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
