There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
