woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
