a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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