I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Randomize
