One girl and one boy is just not enough.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
