your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
