So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
