Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
