im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
