He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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