Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
