He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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