I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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