After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
two words: eviction party
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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