New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
