So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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