make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
