some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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