Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
