Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
