But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
